Wednesday, April 13, 2011

4/11/2011

I was completely alone.  The only light in my bedroom was from four vanilla candles and the screen from my computer.  It had been a warm day, the first of spring reaching into 70 degrees.  I was wearing black sweat shorts and  last year’s Relay for Life team t-shirt reading, “I-rish for a Cure 2010”.  A thin, sweatshirt blanket lay across my legs.  It was my favorite from college.
            The window was open and the smell of spring wafted into the room , gently blowing my navy curtains.  I had turned the ceiling fan on earlier and it was my absolute favorite sound.  It had started to rain gently and I heard the drops tap the pane of my open window.  My hair was pulled back in a messy bun, and still felt damp from my shower earlier. 
            I stared at the computer screen through my glasses.  I sat in disbelief and turned to look at the clock.  It was 10:44 PM on April 11, 2011.  I had finished my novel.  After years of failed attempts, and the past few months consisting of labors of love, sadness, heartache, and hope, I had finished.  My fingers were still poised above the keys, but words no longer escaped.  Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy was playing quietly in the back ground and I felt a smile cross my lips.  And without warning, I began to sob.  I had just finished my first novel!  I needed to share it with someone, so I picked up my phone.  It was late and I wasn’t sure if he’d be awake, but I was too excited and  I wanted to share.  I constructed a text message to a good friend proclaiming that my first novel was finished.  To my surprise and happiness, he replied with words of support and encouragement.  I was happy to share my excitement with him.
            I sat still on my bed, not wanting to disturb the moment.  It was a perfect moment, emotional and wonderfully bittersweet.  I smiled to myself again and sent the finished product off to my editor, tears still in my eyes.  And when he replied with “You’ve made a wonderful piece of art”, I began to sob more, all the while still smiling.  I was going to be an author. 
            If I had ever doubted writing as my path in life, it was confirmed by the feeling I felt staring at the last page of “My Song”, the cursor flashing to the beat of Debussy.  What an absolute perfect moment, what an absolute perfect feeling. 
            I tip-toed out into the quiet house.  Every room was dark.  I reached my parents bedroom and opened the door gently.
            “I finished,” I whispered wondering if one of them would hear me. 
            They didn’t reply, but I felt good knowing that I said it outloud regardless of whether they were fast asleep.  I closed the door and tip toed back through the living room.  I stared out of the floor to ceiling windows at the night sky.  It was beautiful and I smiled again before heading back to my bedroom.  I didn’t want to sleep.  I wanted to freeze the moment and keep it on a shelf and relive it any time I wanted.  I texted my friend one last time joking about how I should try and get some sleep, but doubting I’d be able to.  He wished me good night and I lay my head down, smiling still, and to my surprise, I drifted off to a sound and well deserved sleep.
            I was an author and “My Song” was singing…

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